Week 7--Staying emotionally connected

My awesome husband with our daughter. Dec 2015

This week I have been thinking a lot about the role of faith in a marriage. Not just faith in the marriage and in a spouse, but faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

The following quote is from the book Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage by H. Wallace Goddard. In there, he says, 

“Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ requires that we trust that God is working to rescue our spouse even as He is working to rescue us. When we have energizing faith in Christ, we trust His progress with our partner. The more we trust God’s purposes in perfecting our partners (and don’t try to take over the job ourselves), the more we all progress.” (p. 62) 

Sometimes it is hard to remember that your spouse needs just as much help as you do in getting close to returning to our Heavenly Father. None of us are perfect, we all need the love and support of our spouse, and our loving Heavenly Father.

In his book, Goddard also quotes President Ezra Taft Benson who said, 

“when we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities. We should put God ahead of everyone else in our lives.” (p. 57) 

Initially, I thought “how can putting God ahead of my spouse improve my marriage?” but as I thought about it, I am reminded that my Heavenly Father wants the best for me and for my family. If I am making sure that he is first in my life, he really will make sure everything else ends up in its perfect place. Those things that are important will rise to the top and those things that are superficial or unimportant will fall to the wayside.

Of course, having faith and putting God first in your life is not going to make everything roses and rainbows for the rest of your life. There will still be struggles and challenges. Goddard addressed that as well. He said, 

“Having faith does not make everything easy. Rather, faith makes life and its challenges both bearable and meaning-filled.” (p. 67) 

There are times when the only thing that will help you get through a challenge in life will be your faith. I know I have had those times.

In early 2006, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. For those who don’t know, MS is a very unpredictable neurological disease (click here for more information). Because my husband and I knew other people who were living with MS, we were both thrown for a loop for a while after I was diagnosed. In fact, we didn’t really believe it until I had another “flare” two years later. It has taken great faith for me to just get up each morning and live my life. I never know what morning will bring. Will my legs still work right, will I be able to see, will I be able to talk? Sometimes I do get swept away in the myriad of “what ifs” but I know that I need to have faith that Heavenly Father knows what is best for me and my family. Through this journey my husband has been an amazing rock for me to lean on. I know he has his fears as well, but he always supports me in all that I am doing, even if I am being overly anxious about the future. There are definitely times when I wonder “why me, why my family” but then I think, “why not me?” These challenges that we have had to go through have brought my husband and I closer together over the last 10 years. I am stable right now, but I am sure my husband will continue to care for me and our family no matter what happens with my health, just as I would do for him. We have the faith that these challenges will be for our good and will help us strengthen our relationship with each other and with God. 

My Friends and I at the Walk MS event 10/29/2016