Week 8--Beware of Pride

When people think about pride, it’s usually someone else who struggles with it, never “me”, but that line of thinking right there can be a form of pride. In April 1989, President Ezra Taft Benson gave a talk titled, “Beware of Pride” and although it was given 27 years ago, it still applies to us today. We all need to be aware of the pride that can creep into our lives. It usually comes slowly, a little at a time. Most people don’t wake up and think, “I’m going to be extra prideful today.”

“When pride has a hold on our hearts, we lose our independence of the world and deliver our freedoms to the bondage of men’s judgement.”

Having pride does make us more aware of the judgement of people around us. Our own judgement towards others may also be a form of “bondage”. This is something I really struggle with. I tend to be a very judgy person. I am doing better at keeping it to myself, but it is still there and, after reading President Benson’s talk, I am reminded that this is a form of pride.

“Pride adversely affects all our relationships…Unity is impossible for a proud person.”

Pride affects how we see other people. I think it’s impossible for pride not to adversely affect relationships that we have, especially when pride manifests itself as selfishness. In a marriage, this can be especially detrimental. Marriage needs to be about unselfishness. It is hard to have a good, strong relationship when you are focused on yourself and how everyone else’s faults affect you. When we are mired in pride it is hard to think about another person which does make unity impossible. It is hard for two spouses to feel that they are “one” when one, or both, seem to worry more about him/herself than spouse.

The most interesting part of this talk for me was when President Benson talked about the fact that proud people are not always those on top looking down, it is also those on the bottom looking up. He included a very interesting list of things that I would not have connected with pride. “…faultfinding, gossiping, backbiting, murmuring, living beyond our means, envying, coveting, withholding gratitude and praise that might lift another, and being unforgiving and jealous.” Of course, there are things on that list that I am guilty of. Would I classify myself as a “proud” person? Well, I wouldn’t have before I read this talk. Now I am definitely going to have to reevaluate.

The antidote to pride is humility. Humility is something that needs to be worked on each day. Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to be humble, especially if asking for forgiveness is needed. Being humble is a choice that we make. In Alma 32:16 it reads, 

“Therefore, blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble…” 

It will always be better for us if we manage to humble ourselves rather than being compelled to be humble.

I hope that we can learn to be humble, especially in our marriages. That pride will not get hold on our hearts or the hearts of those with whom we have close relationships. Of course, we need to remember when we see that there is a problem with pride in our relationship, it is usually “my” problem, not the problem of someone else. I need to fix me first!

The following list I got from an Institute teacher years ago in a discussion of President Benson's talk, along with Jacob 2. This list of things that "pride is" certainly gives me a lot to think about, and a lot of areas in which I can improve by humbling myself, not being compelled to be humble.

“Beware of Pride”

PRIDE IS:
1.     What leads nations to destruction
2.     What leads people to destruction
3.     Leads to Sin
4.     Why Lucifer fell
5.     What leads to eternal burning
6.     Never righteous
7.     Self-centeredness
8.     Conceit
9.     Boastfulness
10.   Arrogance
11.    Haughtiness
12.   Enmity toward God (Enmity – hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition)
13.   Enmity toward our fellowman
14.   Enmity toward yourself
15.   Competitive in nature
16.   Your will in competition to God’s will
17.   Selfish desires
18.   Selfish appetites
19.   Unbridled passions
20.  Being unable to accept the authority of God
21.   Pitting your perceptions of truth against God’s knowledge
22.  Trying your abilities against God’s mighty works
23.  Rebellion
24.  Hardheartedness
25.  Stiff-neckedness
26.  Being unrepentant
27.  Being puffed up
28.  Being easily offended
29.  Being a sign seeker
30.  Wishing God would agree with you
31.   Elevating yourself above others
32.  Making others your adversary
33.  Pitting intellects against others
34.  Pitting your opinions against others
35.  Works against others
36.  Wealth against others
37.  Talents against others
38.  Using worldly measuring devices against others
39.  Not pleasured by having, but by having more then the next man
40.  Comparison
41.   What crucified Christ
42.  Jealousy
43.  The fear of men’s judgment more then God’s
44.  A destroyer to independence
45.  The reasoning of men in order to override the revelations of God
46.  Readily seen in others but rarely admitted in ourselves
47.  A sin of those on top looking down
48.  A sin of those on the bottom looking up
49.  Faultfinding
50.  Gossiping
51.   Backbiting
52.  Murmuring
53.  Living beyond your means
54.  Envying
55.  Coveting
56.  Withholding gratitude and praise
57.  Being unforgiving
58.  Disobedience
59.  Selfishness
60.  Worrying how everything affects you
61.   Self-conceit
62.  Self-pity
63.  Worldly self-fulfillment
64.  Self-gratification
65.  Self-seeking
66.  Secret combinations
67.  Seeking worldly glory
68.  Contention
69.  Arguments
70.  Fights
71.   Unrighteous dominion
72.  Generation gaps
73.  Divorces
74.  Spouse abuse
75.  Riots
76.  Disturbances
77.  Contention in families
78.  What drives family members away
79.  What causes hostile words
80.  What leads to worldwide conflicts
81.   Why you hold grudges
82.  Justification
83.  Why people don’t take council easily
84.  Defensiveness
85.  Rationalization
86.  Depending on the world to tell you if you have value or not
87.  Ugly
88.  A damning sin
89.  What limits or stops progression
90.  Why people are not easily taught
91.   Why people will not change their minds to accept truths
92.  What adversely affects all our relationships with all mankind
93.  What causes unity to be impossible for people
94.  What ruins marriages
95.  What weakens homes
96.  What is what keeps us from confessing our sins
97.  What keeps us from yielding our hearts to God
98.  What slows temple work
99.  What slows Godly service
100.  Lehi’s great and spacious building
101.  The great vice
102.  Ignoring council
103.  Not going on a mission
104.  Not going to the temple frequently
105.  Not submitting to Gods will
106.  The great stumbling block to Zion
 “The antidote for pride is humility – meekness, submissiveness. It is the broken heart and the contrite spirit. .. We must yield to the enticing of the Holy Spirit, put off the prideful natural man, become a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and become as a child, submissive, meek, and humble.” – President Ezra Taft Benson (May Ensign 1989)